Your friends tried to help you by going to the priest,
but the priest did not do anything to help you and no one intervened. The
priest never confronted you and never spoke to you at all. You were never called down to the
office and no priest ever spoke to you about your behavior. You
continued exhibiting strange behavior and everyone just basically ignored you and just assumed you were on
drugs because they were so prevalent in the 70’s. Were you abusing substances?
May 28th, 1971
No, I never used any kind of substances or drugs in my school career. I was aware they were available, I knew who was using drugs and kept my distance from them. I did not associate with those who were drug users. I chose my friends wisely and stayed away from everyone who chose to use any kind of drugs. My friends and I were clean and substance free. Drugs were not a part of our lives and we did not associate with those who chose a different path.
None other than Father Geidman handed me my diploma on May
28th, 1971. Someone had to turn my tassel for me because I was
completely unaware of what was
going on around me. And things got worse. I really needed to talk with someone.
No one ever reached out to me. If I wanted help, I knew I had to get it on my
own. I really did not know who to turn to for help. So, I called Father Geidman
and set up an appointment to speak with him. But I called back and cancelled
it. He said, “Suite Yourself”, and hung up on me. I called him back later and
told him I thought my mother was on her way up to the rectory to speak with
him. He told me that if, when my mother returned home, she walked in the door
carrying two bags of groceries, then she had not been up to see him. When my mother returned home, she walked in
the door carrying two bags of groceries. I knew then that she had not been up
to see him. How did he do that?
I felt I was going crazy because strange things kept
happening to me that make me believe I was losing my mind. I was seeing things
disappear in front of me. I would put something in place and when I came back to
get it, it was gone. Then later, it would reappear in the place I had
originally put it. I could not get my parent’s car started one day and a bolt
of lightning came down from the sky and hit the engine. I was not the only one that saw this.
Another person saw this incident also and said to me, "I bet your car will start now." And it did.
The more that strange things happened to me, the more I came to believe that
God was doing these things to me because He knew I did not believe in Him and
this was His way of telling me that He did exist. This was His way of proving Himself
to me. This was my wake-up call.
I began to believe that the
things that were happening to me were just signs from God, because I had not
believed in Him and this was just His way of telling me, “Hey, I really do
exist.” I felt that the things I was experiencing were just His way of proving
himself to me. I was convinced that it was absolutely, positively, without a
doubt, God that was doing these things to me. So, I told God that He did not
have to do these things to me anymore. That I believed in Him now, and that He
could stop proving Himself to me anytime. I was talking
to the Big God in the Sky. I was talking to the Big Man Upstairs, to the Big
Guy in the Sky. I was talking to the Creator, to the Supreme Being, to the Head
Honcho in the Sky, to the Big Spirit in the Sky. I was talking to the ‘Boss’. I
told Him I have had enough, I believed now. I told Him He could stop doing
things to me anytime now.
Summer of 1971
The Road to Delaware
Acts
9:3-5 Then it was shown to me that it
was Jesus all the time that was doing these things to me. I was alone in the
car, and driving at night, and it was pitch dark. It was one of those nights when the sky was
black, with no visible stars. I was at a stoplight. I was waiting for the light
to turn green when I heard a silent voice. It was not audible. It was a silent
voice and it called out my name. The voice whispered “Marie”. It caught my
attention and I looked up in the sky and to the East where the silent voice came
from. I was looking up in the sky where the silent voice came from, but I did
not see anything. Then the silent voice whispered in a very soft voice, “It’s
me, Jesus”. I remember thinking in my mind only, “It’s you, Jesus? You’re
really real? You’re not made up? You’re really real?” The silent voice
answered, “Yes, it’s me, Jesus.” He had read my mind because I did not talk out
loud, and His answer came into my mind, not through an audible voice. We were
communicating telepathically. It was the sweetest, kindest, most loving,
caring, calm, and heartfelt voice I had ever heard. Then the light turned green
and I was on my way. When I returned home, I told no one of the incident. I
documented it in my journal which I had begun when these strange things began to
happen to me. I shared very little with others about my experiences, but I
wrote everything down. Why had Jesus chosen to reveal
Himself to me at this particular location in this particular way? I believe it was
because this is very similar to the way He revealed Himself to Saul (Paul), an unbeliever,
on his way to Damascus to persecute Christians. Saul was an unbeliever, as I was and
he was on a road traveling, as I was. However, Saul was probably walking as
Acts 9:8
states that the men traveling with him
"led him by the hand" into Damascus. I, however, was not walking. I was in my car. I was stopped by a light, as Saul was. However,
the light that stopped me was a red stop light. The light that stopped Saul was a light from heaven Acts 9:3 . Saul's experience happened at about noon as Acts 22:6 states. My experience happened at night when there was a black sky. So, you see there are similarities in our experiences. And I believe Jesus chose this particular way to reveal himself to me because it resembles the way He revealed Himself to Saul. Many people believe that Saul fell from a horse
but there is no mention of a horse in scripture. Scripture states, "he fell to the ground."
Scripture does not say he fell to the ground from a horse. Scripture states he was led into Damascus
by hand. If he fell from a horse the men probably would have put him back on the horse and probably
would have taken the horse by the reins with Paul on it and gone into Damascus with Saul on horseback.
But scripture states the men "led him by the hand" which most likely means they were walking.
In Jesus' eyes I must have been as bad as Paul
(although I never hurt anyone, just myself) for Jesus to have revealed Himself to me in much the same
way He revealed Himself to Paul on the Damascus Road. I never persecuted any Christians, but I turned
my back on the whole "God" thing because I saw no proof of God or Jesus anywhere. Jesus personally had
to reveal Himself to me for me to believe. I had been taught about Him all my life, but I came to
disbelieve because I saw no proof. I wanted that proof, Jesus knew I needed that proof, and He Himself
provided that proof. If Jesus can reveal Himself to a horrific sinner like Paul, and can reveal Himself to an unbeliever like myself,
then Jesus can reveal Himself to anyone who chooses to respond to his call. Paul and myself are illustrations of
how Jesus is available for everyone. Paul did not go to Jesus. Jesus came to Paul. I did not go to Jesus.
Jesus came to me. Jesus is available to the worst of sinners if they choose to repent of their sins and accept Him as the Messiah. I am not saying that Jesus will reveal Himself in the same way he revealed Himself to Paul and myself. It is different for everyone. I am just saying that Jesus is available for everyone. He is not out of reach. I had thought all along that it
was God that was doing these things to me, and I was right. But it was Jesus
God that was doing these things to me. It was not the Spirit God that I had
originally thought. It was not the Supreme Being, the Head Honcho God like I
originally thought. It was Jesus that was doing these things to me. Jesus
showed me that it was Him that was doing these things to me. It was Jesus all
along that was proving Himself to me. And Jesus became so real to me. One day I
asked Jesus, “Jesus, you are real and I know you are doing these things to me,
but where is God the Father, whom I thought was doing these things to me? Where
is the Head Honcho God, the Supreme Creator, the Boss, God the Father? I’d like to know him too.” Then Jesus told me
that Father Geidman is God the Father. It was not a silent voice; it was not an
audible voice. It was not a voice at all. It was sort of like an understanding.
It was as if I answered my own question, but the answer came from Jesus. It was
as if the answer came from deep inside of me somewhere, but at the same time
Jesus had provided the answer. It was an understanding between me and Jesus
that Father Geidman is God the Father, but the answer came from Jesus. That did it. There was no question about it now. I really
needed to talk with Father Geidman. So, I again called him, and I told him I
really needed to speak with him. But he was not available and suggested that I
call the counseling center in town to get someone there to talk with. And so I
did. I called the counseling center and made an appointment with a counselor
there. That was just four days after graduation
and about three weeks of strange occurrences in my life. Things were happening
so fast. June 1, 1971 This was my first appointment with the counselor.
After discussing some issues with him, he stated that he did
not see me as a person existing with problems in my own little world but
having problems as a summation of the experiences and crisis I have lived
through. I made another appointment with him for a week later. I did not tell
him about my experience with Jesus or any other experiences I had.
I kept all that stuff to myself. June 8, 1971 The counselor stated that my
problems were just a result of the crisis I have experienced in my life and
pressures I’ve had to deal with. He stated that my crisis was intensified by my
Catholic education, which was very strong on morals and values, but very weak on
incorporating religious beliefs into a way of life and taking care of one’s own
needs first. He stated I was walking a very thin rope and needed to explore
possibilities for my own life. He stated I only needed to see him one or two
more times since specific confusions and difficulties were just reactions to my
religious upbringing rather than inherent difficulties in my personality. June 22, 1971 At this appointment with the counselor he
stated that I had a lot of good thoughts, a lot of good concepts, and a good
outlook on life. But that I needed to put things together in a form for a
pattern of life for myself. He wanted me to focus on putting a life together
for myself. He wanted me to focus on my future and make plans for a life for
myself. I never discussed with the counselor any of the strange things that
were happening to me, which continued. I never told him anything about Father
Geidman, Jesus, or anything that Jesus had told me. My counselor had been educated in a seminary
and had considerable Catholic seminary experience, but he was not a priest. That summer I attended the Catholic Church (Mass) on a
regular basis. It was the only church I was connected with; it was the only
church I had ever known. We were forbidden to attend any other church and so I
went to the Catholic Church looking for answers. I sat up front and became very
observant of every move and listened very intently to every word that was
spoken. I was looking for answers. I wanted answers. On one particular Sunday
Father Geidman was the priest saying the Mass. I watched him just as closely as
I had watched the other priests celebrating Mass. But I noticed something very
peculiar that happened during the prayer “The Our Father”. Father Geidman began the prayer just as the
other priests had by saying, “Our Father”. But when it came to the part of
saying, “Who Art in Heaven”, he kept his mouth shut and did not say those
words. The congregation said, “Who Art In Heaven”, but Father Geidman did not
say those four words. He kept his mouth closed as the congregation said those
words. Then he came back in with, “Hallowed be Thy Name” and finished saying
the rest of the prayer. I thought it was pretty strange, so I decided to go to
another Mass he celebrated to see if he did it again. He did the same thing
again. He did not say, “Who Art In Heaven”. I thought that was rather weird. So,
I went to a few more Masses he celebrated, and he did it at each and every one
of them. He never says, “Who Art In Heaven,” during the prayer” The Our
Father”. He must know he is God the Father. Jesus told me he was. And by him
never saying, “Who Art in Heaven” he is actually saying that God the Father is
not in heaven. He could not say those words because he knows God the Father (He
Himself) is no longer in heaven. Made sense to me. At yet another Mass Father Geidman celebrated, I went to
Communion to him, and instead of saying, “The Body of Christ”, like he was
supposed to when he placed the host on my tongue, he looked at me dead straight
in my eyes and said, “You’re Stubborn!” Then he placed the host on my tongue.
He did not say, “The Body of Christ” like he was supposed to. At another Mass I attended that Father Geidman had, he was acting like he
was drunk or something. He was having a very difficult time with his sermon. He
kept leaning over the pulpit like he was catching himself or preventing
himself from falling. He even held up a blank piece of paper and then read from
it. Now that was weird. These are just a few of the strange things that
happened during the summer of 1971. These were the very first Signs.
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