What is wrong with you? Why don't you just go to Father Geidman like you believe Jesus is telling you to do? Perhaps your problems will get solved if you obey Jesus. Earlier you had mentioned that everytime you do not do what Jesus tells you to do that something terrible happens. And something terrible did happen. Not only to you but to your Bible teacher, Pastor John as well. Why are you fighting with Jesus? Why don't you just obey Him?
We have to go back to 2008 when I had a supernatural experience (page 49) after I had watched the videos I made for Father Geidman to refresh my memory. After I had watched the videos, that night, I encountered a supernatural experience. I was awakened from my sleep and felt two hands under my shoulders and they lifted me up in bed into a sitting position. I took that as a sign to go to Father Geidman with the second video, which I was going to do, but did not. Instead, I went to the minister and his wife with whom I had meetings with seventeen years prior and told them of the experience. They confirmed that they too believed I was being pushed into going to Father Geidman. I told Jesus I felt uncomfortable going to Father Geidman because of something he had said to me the last time we had met several years ago. So I did not go to him. Again, instead of obeying Jesus and going to Father Geidman, I went to Pastor John. I believe it was because I again did not go to Father Geidman, like Jesus wanted me to, that caused the both of us to get sick. So, to answer your question, the reason I did not obey Jesus and go to Father Geidman is because I felt too uncomfortable going to him because of something he said to me nineteen years prior when I last met with him. This tug-of-war between Jesus and me has been going on for six years now.
March 14, 2014
I won't go into detail about the next incident that happened, but someone from the church "caught wind" that something was "going on" and approached me about it. This individual kept pressing, probing and quizzing me. I kept telling this individual that I could not talk about it. Then our conversation ended. I became very upset and stayed upset for a very long time. I went to Pastor John and told him about this confrontation. He stated that he would talk with this individual and tell this person that he would talk with me again. Pastor John tried to get me to make an appointment with him but I was very adamant and against the idea of meeting with him again because I did not want to talk about it. He said he understood and did not want to put me in an awkward situation and that if I changed my mind and wanted to talk about it that he would be available for me. So later I did feel I should speak with him and he agreed to meet with me to discuss this present situation.
That meeting never took place because John got very sick and was unable to meet with me. He was so sick he had to take two months off just to recuperate. John stated to me that he did not know why this happened. I told him that I did know why this happened. I felt the Lord's hand was in all of this. I felt the Lord was 'messing with us' because He wanted me to go to Father Geidman. I was in no condition to meet with Father Geidman because I was still upset with the church individual who basically attacked me. But I felt the Lord pushing me to go to Father Geidman, in my bad condition. I already knew where he was because Jesus had told me that quite some time ago. And I had made plans with Jesus to meet with him at this location some time in the future. I had not set a date to meet with him. I only made plans to meet with him at this location sometime in the future. The future was now knocking at my door, so I spoke with some people and made arrangements to meet with Father Geidman.
June 18, 2014
I was notified that the church I was attending was planning on planting a church in my home town. I became very excited about this and immediately an email was sent to one of the people involved in the church plant expressing my interest and asking for specific information.
The day I had planned to meet with Father Geidman never happened because my car broke down. My car had not failed me in about one year. But, this day, after my plans were finalized, my car decides to break down. When I started my vehicle I heard a very very loud sound. It frightened me so much I turned off the engine and ran into the house because I was sure the car was going to explode. I did not go near the car for another few days until I felt comfortable enough to inspect it. I gently climbed into the drivers seat and was ready to die when I started the engine. Oh how loud the car was, but it did not explode. Nor did it go anywhere. I had no power steering and no power brakes. I looked under the hood and found a shattered serpentine belt. I also looked under the vehicle because with the engine running it was very loud. I discovered a gap between the catalytic converter and the muffler; thus the loud noise. So, with my car out of commission I was not going anywhere.
It took several days to get my vehicle repaired and two different mechanics to make the repairs. I thought I was in good shape when I got my car back, only to see that the "service engine soon" light was on. Great. Is it safe to drive this thing? I had a diagnostic test done on the car to determine why the light was on. The mechanic found several oil leaks and stated I needed a new catalytic converter. He said it was safe to drive and to just keep an eye on the oil level but that I should get it repaired as soon as possible. So I continued to drive the car and eventually got the repairs done.
I really just needed to just get quiet. I had a break from Bible class which was dismissed for the summer. It probably was a good thing I did not meet with Father Geidman the day I had planned because I was still a bit upset. I just needed time to calm down and relax and with my car breaking down I was provided with that opportunity. I began to just stay at home and chill, read scripture, and read Christian books. I needed to get quiet, relax and not be distracted. And so that is what I did.
I have another date scheduled to meet with Father Geidman. Will he listen to me this time? Or will I continue to suffer at the mercy of Jesus because he will not listen to me?
Will You Not Listen?